If you want to join a tribe of apes, you have to carefully hang around the fringes until you begin to be recognized. You might be challenged and threatened a few times, but with a bit of persistence you eventually become recognized as part of the group. A few anthropologists have done this as part of their research.
The rules are similar for some human groups, but people create some elite social circles where the rules are a lot more exclusive. Acceptance depends to some degree on money, but money is not enough. There are elite groups that will give you limited acceptance; but you will always be recognized as 'not a member'. You can join the club; but you are excluded from the club within the club. '
Your children may make the cut; but they have to be raised and educated with the children of people who are already in the group. And sometimes your children are not completely accepted - but your grandchildren might be accepted.
A few years ago, a corporate executive was accused of unethical conduct. Apparently he gave someone an unfair advantage in a stock deal in exchange for a recommendation that would get one of his kids into the "right" kindergarten.
This, of course, would lead to the right grade school, the right prep school and the right college. And all of this would lead to inclusion in the right social set. The people playing this game know the unwritten rules.
If all of this seems silly, consider why some people will make great sacrifices to get their kids into the "right" kindergarten.
What do they know that you don't know?